34d: The 20th Rains Retreat (Sudinna) – 1173
Then Sudinna’s friends said to him: “Though formerly you were handsome, your
sense-faculties were alert, your facial colour was clear, and your complexion
was especially clean, now you are emaciated day by day, and with poor and dry
skin, your good appearance deteriorates and your complexion becomes pale like
a withered leaf. Your body has sinews that are like a cast net; your distress is
hidden in you and your introverted thoughts develop gradually; tormented by
your physical and mental unhappiness, you remain in pensive mood. Why,
friend Sudinna? Are you practising the noble practice of the threefold training
with unhappiness in the Buddha’s Dispensation?”
Ven. Sudinna replied as follows: “Friends, not with unhappiness am I practising
the noble practice of the threefold training in the Buddha’s Dispensation. There
is one wrong deed done by me though. I have committed sexual misconduct with
my ex-wife, for which I feel remorseful, thinking: ‘I have failed to make
achievements such as absorption (
jhāna
). My gain of monkhood has been
worthless! I have ill-gotten the teaching! The Buddha’s Dispensation has not
come to me in a good manner! Because I have thus been incapable of practising
in perfection, in purity for life, the noble practice of the threefold training after
receiving ordination in the Dispensation of the Dhamma and the Vinaya taught
so well!’ ”
Then his friends blamed him by citing a large number of instances: “Friend
Sudinna, since you are thus incapable of practising in perfection and purity for
life the noble practice of the threefold training after receiving ordination in the
Dispensation of the Dhamma and the Vinaya taught so well, you should be
remorseful.
Friend Sudinna, did not the master teach us, in various ways, to separate
ourselves from lust and not to combine with lust? Did he not teach us to
dissociate from sensuality and not to associate with sensuality? Did he not teach
us to be detached from craving and wrong view and not to be attached through
craving and wrong view?
Friend Sudinna, despite the master’s teaching to separate from lust, you have
striven to combine with lust. Despite the master’s teaching to dissociate from
sensuality, you have striven to associate with sensuality. Despite the master’s
teaching to be detached from craving and wrong view, you have striven to be
attached through craving and wrong view.